Lost in Translation Feb08

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Lost in Translation

As we head into another fine weekend I was thinking about an old fraternity brother I had back at JMU.  Carl and I weren’t best friends or anything, but we shared some common interests so we were friendly enough.  He’s a tough kid, worked for his dad’s landscaping company while he was in high school.  At some point, I can’t exactly remember how old he said he was, but he was working with his dad.  He was trimming the edges of a lawn while his pops handled the riding mower.  Anyway, his dad hit a rock or something that nailed Carl right in the eye.  Doctors couldn’t save it, and so by the time I met him, he had a wood eye.

Naturally, a lot of us in the fraternity thought this was super bad ass.  Carl, given that it was his eye, didn’t really agree.  Sure he’d talk about it or whatever with us, but it really hurt his confidence around the girls.  We tried to tell him that a lot of girls would be into it and he could make up some pretty sweet stories about how he came to have a wood eye; but he never took our advice.

Anyway, one weekend we had a mixer with a sorority at our house.  Carl spotted a larger girl, her name was Cassie I belive, across the room and noticed no one talking to her.  Figuring it’d be relatively easy to score with her, Carl worked up some balls and walked over…

Carl:  Hey, would you like a drink or maybe a dance?

Cassie:  Would I?  Would I?  Really??

Carl:  Fat ass!  Fat ass!  Nevermind!

The End.  Enjoy the parties/bars/concerts/whatever nonsense you get into this weekend jabronis…